Bob got me a new camera for my birthday. It was my 25th. Uh, yeah, right. But if you can say “Happy 25th Birthday” to me with a straight face, that would be my best birthday present ever. Or maybe my worst because then I’d know all my friends and family members can lie to me without even flinching. So does that mean none of you really like my salmon patties with sunflower seeds, spinach and flax seeds? Say it isn’t so. They’re so healthy. And crunchy.
But back to my birthday present. Bob is the best husband ever because instead of trying to surprise me with something he wants me to have (thighmaster anyone?), he really tries to figure out what I’d like. I got a camera because I was complaining to him last week about my old camera which had been taking pictures that were so out of focus I could barely tell if the images from our recent zoo trip were the kids or the zoo animals.
As soon as I opened the box for the new camera, I was forced to read the instructions. I am not from a family of instruction readers. When I was a kid, my dad usually threw away the instructions along with the “extra parts” as soon as he opened the box. For years, I thought every “assembly required” toy or piece of furniture always came with extra screws, plastic do-hickeys and tabs just in case you lost a few things during assembly. I also thought all assembly-required things were supposed to be held together by duct tape. Thanks, Dad.
Unfortunately, the camera didn’t turn on when I pushed the on button and I couldn't figure out how to fix it with duct tape. I was forced to read the manual to discover that the battery needed charging. While I was paging through the 112 pages it took to find “easy battery charging instructions,” I saw a feature on this camera called “beauty.” Apparently when pictures are shot in the beauty mode, the camera automatically evens skin complexion, softens wrinkles and overall makes you look ten years younger.
Did I mention, best husband ever?
As soon as I got the battery charged, I gave the camera to Lauren and had her take my picture with the regular setting and in beauty mode. What do you think? Did it make a difference?
Can you tell me with a straight face that I’m young and gorgeous in both shots? Want some of my salmon patties? Didn’t you say they were your favorite?