Bob cannot resist buying something if he can save money with a coupon. (Love ya, honey and I do realize we’ll need that denture cream some day so thanks for stocking up). He returned from the grocery store with a carload of bargains which happened to include a can of cooked greens.
I don’t know where you find greens in nature, but I suspect it has something to do with the kind of green slime you find near really stinky ponds. The slimy consistency and noxious flavor of greens is increased ten-fold by canning them and letting them sit on a grocery shelf for months until some unsuspecting shopper with a coupon happens along.
I tried to keep my opinion to myself because my kids had never tried cooked greens and I didn’t think “disgusting pond slime” was the way to sell it. No sooner had we sat down to eat when the complaints started.
“Mom, this is really gross. Do you hate us?”
“If eating vegetables like this is what it takes to grow into a healthy adult, I’ll just die now, thank you very much.”
“Did Dad have a coupon for these?”
After tasting them himself, Bob swore he’d never buy them again even if lured to do so by a coupon.
He also had a coupon for children’s vitamins. Buy one, get one free. Good deal, huh? After the kids tasted them, they swore we were trying to poison them.
“But, Dad bought two bottles,” I said, ignoring their complaints. “Just eat them.”
Realizing, we weren’t going to budge, the kids hatched their own scheme.
So far, no vitamin burglar. But the kids did convince me to try one. Let's just say these vitamins make canned greens sound like heaven.
