Friday, November 27, 2009

Wanna See the Mess My "Kids" Made?

I’ve never been the most artsy of people. In grade school when every art teacher can find something nice to say about a kid’s efforts, my teacher told me I’d make a good lawyer.

Even when my mom commented on my artwork, she’d say things like “nice effort on that turkey, honey.”

“Uh, mom. That’s an Indian at the first Thanksgiving.”

“Sure, honey. Now I see it. Did I show you these brochures I picked up for you for law school?”

For me, one of the best parts of having children is that I can blame all artistic misadventures on them. The sponge painting project in the basement that just didn’t look quite right? Uh, yeah the kids got a hold of the paint brushes. The Fall theme display I tried to make on the front porch out of corn husks which fell apart and scatted so much debris in front of the door that the postman asked for hazard pay? Uh, yeah the boys put that up. Isn’t it cute?

How about the garland on the Christmas tree that looks like it was slung up there by a blind, drunken sailor? Uh, Lauren did it. Didn’t she try hard?

The crooked star on the top? Uh, the kids knocked into the tree. Yeah, that’s it.

Before you start feeling too bad for my children, may I point out that they’ll be using these same tricks someday? After all, I’ve been gifted with my fair share of “turkey/indian/what the heck is that?” kind of art work by these children. Someday when they tell me the grandkids attempted to sponge paint the foyer, I’ll just smile and say, “how cute.”

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Mom of the Year

I know that there are those of you that read this blog every week. (Thanks, Mom.) So you’ve probably been wondering why I haven’t posted since October. Was I kidnaped by aliens and forced to sit idly for days watching soap operas? (I wish!) Did the kids tie me up and stash me in a closet somewhere so they could play unlimited Wii and eat ice cream for dinner? (They wish!) Did I win an all-expense paid vacation to Hawaii? (Yeah, now we’re deeply in the world of fantasy.)

So what was I doing? Well, I was being a good mom. The kids took in the following load of candy for Halloween.

Was I supposed to let their little bodies take in THAT much sugar? Of course not. That would be bad for their teeth and their overall health. So like any good mom, I’ve been spending the last two weeks scarfing down candy to keep my children from having to do it.

It’s been hard some days when I didn’t think I could eat another Reece’s cup to save my life. But when you have children, you make sacrifices for their well being. No need to nominate me for the “Mom of the Year” award.